Relationship Red Flags with guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa | TIS Ep. 62

Episode Summary

Have you ever wished that people came with a warning label? A caution sign? Something to help you avoid impending heartbreak? Or have you ever been in a relationship that you wish had never happened? Whew chile!!! If you’ve ever had these thoughts, you NEED to tune in. In this special episode marking Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Sharon, Lisa, and their guest Stacey Alvarez de la Campa share their experiences, situationships, and red flags that people should look out for on the road to romance.

TW: Emotional and physical abuse are discussed.

The beauty is in the details. For full show notes and transcript click below.

Previous Episode: Welcome to the Equaliversity with guest Lea Jovy-Ford

Find Us: Listen on Substack or add our podcast feed to your favorite player. 


5 Big Takeaways

  1. On red flags: “There are red flags–in hindsight. But you don’t pay enough attention to them when they’re actually happening to you.” – Stacey Alvarez de la Campa
  2. On owning your choices: “You don’t ever ‘find yourself’ somewhere. You put yourself in certain situations…There is ownership, and within the ownership comes the power to break out of whatever dynamic you’re in. – Stacey Alvarez de la Campa
  3. On “the dynamic”: “You gaslight yourself.” – Sharon Hurley Hall
  4. On “the mask”:  “You don’t know someone until you leave them.” – Lisa Hurley
  5. On leaving: “Jump, and build your wings on the way down.”  – Stacey Alvarez de la Campa

10 Juicy Quotes

  1. “What happened with me, and this often happens with people who are in abusive relationships, is you actually don’t see it as abusive at all–at the beginning.” – Stacey Alvarez de la Campa
  2. “Abuse is on many levels. It’s never just physical abuse.” – Stacey Alvarez de la Campa
  3.  “There was such a level of abusiveness, in terms of the physical, and in terms of the verbal and emotional, that I thought: This is it. You’re going to die.” – Stacey Alvarez de la Campa
  4. Don’t be so afraid to leave that you forget about what could happen if you stay.” – Stacey Alvarez de la Campa
  5. “A lot of times (abusers) see you coming…They pick you, and they show you the persona that is most designed to appeal to you.” – Sharon Hurley Hall
  6. “He started trying to dismantle me piece by piece.” – Sharon Hurley Hall
  7. “Listen to your subconscious and trust your gut. There are always signs.” – Sharon Hurley Hall
  8. “You’re always on eggshells…Once you get into that kind of dynamic, you’re in a constant state of trying to preemptively avoid conflict.” – Lisa Hurley
  9. “I want to de-stigmatize the shame.” – Lisa Hurley
  10.  “Actions speak louder than words. When people show you who they are, believe them.” – Lisa Hurley

By the Numbers

  • 00:30: Sharon introduces Stacey
  • 01:06: Sharon introduces the topic – relationship red flags
  • 02:26: Stacey shares her story
  • 07:17: Lisa shares her story